Living with ADHD

I don’t have words to express my feelings. I do not trust them. When dealing with an ADHD child I often feel as though I am in a race against time, and time is definitely against me. There is no quick fix. It all takes so much time! Time to get in with the doctors, time to test and evaluate, and then time to wait for the evaluations and diagnosis; time to see if the medication is right, time to change the dosage and then see if it’s right again, then time to completely change the medication and see which dosage works.

Now we have to wait for counseling sessions, for what results we can possibly hope to achieve. We have to wait for another, better, more knowledgable doctor, and a whole round of driving 1 -3 hours once a week, once a month, whenever…. Adding anxiety meds into the mix.

In the meantime, my ADHD son is having breakdowns in school almost everyday. What more the school and his IEP can do for him, I do not know. We are so blessed to have this amazing team surrounding him, doing everything they can for him. They do so much for him already.

I know that you can’t always be in control of who teaches your child, and how well they do or don’t deal with ADHD children. And that is part of the frustration.  But I do know that calling me and telling me that my child is having a hard day, and will I please speak to him to calm him down, is a signal that someone over there isn’t equipped very well, and I’m not talking about the 10-year-old.

It’s okay. I can talk to him at school and try to reason with him, calm him down and make him feel better. But I can’t do it every week, and I shouldn’t have to. Main reason being not even a phone call from mom can whip a child into shape, and all it does is frustrate me even more knowing that my child is in tears at school every day  because he feels frustrated, overwhelmed, and anxious.

He doesn’t reason like we do. If you have an ADHD child (or spouse) you know what I’m talking about. I’m not making excuses for him, I’m saying that he requires a different kind of communication if you want positive results. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s a pain in the butt. But that’s the way it is. Parents who have ADHD, ADD, Autistic, mentally handicapped, physically handicapped, etc. children have to learn how to deal with their children. And as a society, you do, too. There is a responsibility here that falls on every person who has contact  with and a direct impact on these children. Don’t think that just because he’s a “behavior issue” that the momma bear won’t come out.

I don’t know what to do. Every year, every grade level, every day is extremely important in the life of a child, from physical and spiritual health, to mental and I.Q. health. Every day my child feels frustrated and overwhelmed, every day his anxiety overcomes his ability to focus and reason, and how is this good for his overall academic health? What am I supposed to do in the meantime while we are waiting on doctors and meds and counseling?

I thank God for him every day. He is so sweet, and loving and generous. I can’t find fault in his ADHD because if he didn’t have it he’d be someone else, and I love him.

There is so much information out there about SPD and ADHD that I won’t even get close to covering it. In fact, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a whole lot about it. It’s an education in process and any ADHD parent out there will agree. A lot of the available information is conflicting, cryptic, and misunderstood. For such a large word, it is truly an individualized disorder.

SPD means Sensory Processing Disorder. From what I know, you can’t be ADD or ADHD without having this disorder as well- for the most part.

ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADD virtually is the same thing without the hyperness, but it does not make the attention deficit any easier.

APD is Auditory Processing Disorder. This is something that we are currently screening Number Two for. It’s best to look at all the possibilities and options and work backward from there, eliminating as you go. Your best defense is to narrow the disorders down as best you can so that you can focus on the real issues.

Anxiety: Number Two suffers from anxiety, which is more of a front-runner than the ADHD. Unfortunately, ADHD is only 1 of 5 recognized disorders that are covered by insurance and government organizations. There is so much else out there- it’s a shame to label someone just so the schools can legally put your child into a 504 or IEP.

Alas, anxiety often gets labeled alongside depression. This is more of a standard coating for doctors and medication decisions. Don’t let it bother you too much- you know your child (or yourself) better than anyone else, but be clear about what the issue is and what kind of care you expect in return.

 

The rant was theraputic- thanks for enduring 🙂  Keep a lookout for my 2nd post of the day Flat Bread Heaven.  https://thehomeheart.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/flat-bread-heaven/

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One thought on “Living with ADHD

  1. I can’t completely relate to your frustrations. Although I am not struggling with schools, I am dealing with therapists, developmental doctors and specialists. They all take for ever to get into and they all have a different opinion. The greatest thing we found was a book call Disconnected Kids by Robert Meillo. It is a brain balance program that helps parents with children like ours and offers therapy to do at home. If you look on Amazon you can read a lot of the comments people have made about he book. I would say it is worth a try.

    Hang in there. God is showering you with His Grace and will guide you through

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